Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Bits and Tids: BitsTids
Time to catch everyone up on a few of the bits going on in my life. I’m sure EVERYONE has been waiting in EAGER anticipation to read about my tids. So many tids, so little time.
1) Paul has been sick for just about two weeks now. His cough and sore throat seems to never go away. At first it was driving me crazy cuz I couldn’t sleep with him hacking his face off all night. Now, it’s driving me even crazier because I have a permanent cold sitting in MY nose and throat. It’s not horrible, but it’s not pleasant. Every morning I must cough up at least 4 gallons of garbage before I can move on with my day.
2) I (somehow against my better judgement) became a fan of the WB’s Superstar USA. For the last month or so, Paul and I have watched every episode faithfully. If you haven’t seen the show, the premise is this: thousands of wannabe singers (a la American Idol (snore)) audition for what they think is the next big talent show. Those who can actually sing get the boot. Those who embarrass themselves, but also think they possess unbelievable talent, move on to the next round. Eventually, there were 12 people competing (horribly) for the title of SUPERSTAR. None of the contestants knew the show was a prank until the final episode last night. Deep down I felt really horrible for each of these terrible performers. But it was sort of like watching a train wreck; you know you shouldn’t stare, but you just have to. Last night they crowned “Jamie” as the country’s worst singer. Her face hit the floor when she saw clips of how terrible she performed. But then, against all laws of mankind and after hearing that she won because she sucked, Jamie says “I am so excited to begin my career as a pop superstar. Britney, give me a call so we can put a video together.” HUH? WHAAAAAAAAAAAA? It takes a special person to SEE and HEAR that they SUCK (and was part of a huge PRACTICAL JOKE), only to then turn around and demand Britney Spears to call them. I mean, Britney sucks too, but she’s made a living on sucking. Jamie has done no such thing. I about puked with joy, although I wish she had cried when she found out she was a loser. That would have tapped into my sensitive side a little more.
3) Even though my 27th birthday isn’t until July 2nd, I am going home this weekend to celebrate with my parents. In typical Joe style, my birthday must take place for two full weeks in order for it to be a success. I have asked for a home entertainment system as well as cash, cash, cash. My parents spoil me rotten, especially with my brother still being in Iraq, so I’m muchly excited to rip into my gifts this weekend. We have plans to go out to a nice dinner, play a hundred rounds of my favorite card games, and up to the harness track in Saratoga. I mean, could anyone ask for a better weekend? The only downside is that my friend, Angie, invited me to see the Phish show at SPAC on Saturday night. Unfortunately I had to bail so that I could spend the whole time with my parents. I was never a REAL Phish fan, but now that they’re breaking up, I would so love to be there. Maybe in the afterlife.
4) Speaking of afterlife, I have found a way to summon Nell Carter from the dead. It will take about a pint of my blood and one of the hairs off her head. I think I can swing that. I’ll do just about anything to get that girl back in my life. (Winkles!)
5) I had ANOTHER hamster multiplying dream the other night. Once again, they began multiplying within their cages and I had to throw them out the window. This time it was my brother trying to calm me down and help kill the monster hammies. He was so helpful, even though I was screaming at the top of my lungs out of frustration. I woke up feeling dirty and gross again, the way I usually feel after this maniacal repeating dream.
6) I LOVE the Next Action Star already. Last night was a “contestant preview” and I ate up every second of it. I’m sorry, but any show that has hot guys running around and doing hot things makes me quiver with excitement. Who cares that none of them can put a sentence together.
7) Paul and I have a new favorite place to eat. It’s called “Bully’s”. For the last 6 months, we have ordered delivery from Bully’s just about once a week. I always get the cheeseburger and fries and Paul alternates between the shrimp po’ boy and the Chicken Parm. Sub. The food is super good, pretty affordable, and always comes within 45 minutes. If I didn’t want to be an actor so badly, I would SO want to work at Bully’s. You know how it is. Cuz of cheeseburgers and all.
8) It’s time to heat up my Lean Cuisine Pizza! Yem! And half the fat and calories of a normal slice. Svelt Joe, here I come!
Ok, y’all! If you have a great day, I’ll have a great day.
The weather’s beautiful and my mood is good, so I’ll do my best to keep up my end of the bargain.
Time to catch everyone up on a few of the bits going on in my life. I’m sure EVERYONE has been waiting in EAGER anticipation to read about my tids. So many tids, so little time.
1) Paul has been sick for just about two weeks now. His cough and sore throat seems to never go away. At first it was driving me crazy cuz I couldn’t sleep with him hacking his face off all night. Now, it’s driving me even crazier because I have a permanent cold sitting in MY nose and throat. It’s not horrible, but it’s not pleasant. Every morning I must cough up at least 4 gallons of garbage before I can move on with my day.
2) I (somehow against my better judgement) became a fan of the WB’s Superstar USA. For the last month or so, Paul and I have watched every episode faithfully. If you haven’t seen the show, the premise is this: thousands of wannabe singers (a la American Idol (snore)) audition for what they think is the next big talent show. Those who can actually sing get the boot. Those who embarrass themselves, but also think they possess unbelievable talent, move on to the next round. Eventually, there were 12 people competing (horribly) for the title of SUPERSTAR. None of the contestants knew the show was a prank until the final episode last night. Deep down I felt really horrible for each of these terrible performers. But it was sort of like watching a train wreck; you know you shouldn’t stare, but you just have to. Last night they crowned “Jamie” as the country’s worst singer. Her face hit the floor when she saw clips of how terrible she performed. But then, against all laws of mankind and after hearing that she won because she sucked, Jamie says “I am so excited to begin my career as a pop superstar. Britney, give me a call so we can put a video together.” HUH? WHAAAAAAAAAAAA? It takes a special person to SEE and HEAR that they SUCK (and was part of a huge PRACTICAL JOKE), only to then turn around and demand Britney Spears to call them. I mean, Britney sucks too, but she’s made a living on sucking. Jamie has done no such thing. I about puked with joy, although I wish she had cried when she found out she was a loser. That would have tapped into my sensitive side a little more.
3) Even though my 27th birthday isn’t until July 2nd, I am going home this weekend to celebrate with my parents. In typical Joe style, my birthday must take place for two full weeks in order for it to be a success. I have asked for a home entertainment system as well as cash, cash, cash. My parents spoil me rotten, especially with my brother still being in Iraq, so I’m muchly excited to rip into my gifts this weekend. We have plans to go out to a nice dinner, play a hundred rounds of my favorite card games, and up to the harness track in Saratoga. I mean, could anyone ask for a better weekend? The only downside is that my friend, Angie, invited me to see the Phish show at SPAC on Saturday night. Unfortunately I had to bail so that I could spend the whole time with my parents. I was never a REAL Phish fan, but now that they’re breaking up, I would so love to be there. Maybe in the afterlife.
4) Speaking of afterlife, I have found a way to summon Nell Carter from the dead. It will take about a pint of my blood and one of the hairs off her head. I think I can swing that. I’ll do just about anything to get that girl back in my life. (Winkles!)
5) I had ANOTHER hamster multiplying dream the other night. Once again, they began multiplying within their cages and I had to throw them out the window. This time it was my brother trying to calm me down and help kill the monster hammies. He was so helpful, even though I was screaming at the top of my lungs out of frustration. I woke up feeling dirty and gross again, the way I usually feel after this maniacal repeating dream.
6) I LOVE the Next Action Star already. Last night was a “contestant preview” and I ate up every second of it. I’m sorry, but any show that has hot guys running around and doing hot things makes me quiver with excitement. Who cares that none of them can put a sentence together.
7) Paul and I have a new favorite place to eat. It’s called “Bully’s”. For the last 6 months, we have ordered delivery from Bully’s just about once a week. I always get the cheeseburger and fries and Paul alternates between the shrimp po’ boy and the Chicken Parm. Sub. The food is super good, pretty affordable, and always comes within 45 minutes. If I didn’t want to be an actor so badly, I would SO want to work at Bully’s. You know how it is. Cuz of cheeseburgers and all.
8) It’s time to heat up my Lean Cuisine Pizza! Yem! And half the fat and calories of a normal slice. Svelt Joe, here I come!
Ok, y’all! If you have a great day, I’ll have a great day.
The weather’s beautiful and my mood is good, so I’ll do my best to keep up my end of the bargain.
